I'm Jake

cas-get-into-my-ass:

blowmeharry:

shellfish-machines:

i really don’t understand how a lot of you are single because you’re all attractive and have good music taste like what more do people want 

sanity

people are so demanding

(Source: suckhaven)

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon:

onwardwall:

thegingerbalrog:

my-fandom-life:

dismantlerepaired:

whereismystrawberrytart:

hikingnerd:

timelordpillbug:

follovved:

amerlcanapparel:

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

image

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudesimage

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

image

When Russia sends you nudes

image

image

image

image

image

image

tomscholes:

Seen this one in person, it’s size alone makes you kneel but the work itself makes you submit ! 
welovepaintings:

John William Waterhouse (1849-1917)Mariamne Leaving the Judgement Seat of HerodOil on canvas1887180 x 259 cm(5’ 10.87” x 8’ 5.97”)

tomscholes:

Seen this one in person, it’s size alone makes you kneel but the work itself makes you submit ! 

welovepaintings:

John William Waterhouse (1849-1917)
Mariamne Leaving the Judgement Seat of Herod
Oil on canvas
1887
180 x 259 cm
(5’ 10.87” x 8’ 5.97”)

tupacabra:

prettygirlfrommichigan:

tupacabra:

name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense

wat are u talking about they all make scents

shut the fuck up

You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.

-- David Foster Wallace, born February 21st, 1962 (via thepenguinpress)

coolbloqqer:

hot people are so lucky im so pissed

ahpart:

today in class i was putting on lip balm and this guy said “no matter how much makeup you put on you’ll still be ugly” so i just looked at him and said “no matter how much you act like a dick yours won’t get any bigger”

zeramato:

Students who still have a lot ahead of them. Students like me, who still have dreams, goals, and students who still aim for achievements. But because of this tragedy, it all faded away. 

I bow and salute to the brave students who saved the lives of others and sacrificed themselves. They are heroes. They are people who deserves a lot better than awards. They deserve to be in Heaven, a place full of happiness and there will be no more sufferings. I also pray for the lives of the family and the people involved in this accident and specially the souls of these heroes.

I hope that the students who were saved by these mighty students will live their lives to the fullest, achieve their dreams and goals and love their family more. I also wish that they will live being inspired by the heroes who saved their lives. Please do so.

And for the captain, my middle finger salutes you. Live well. In guilt. Thank you.

#PrayForSouthKorea

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

--

A high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words. (via lbittersweet)

I LOVE THIS POST

(via myscriptisahorcrux)

(Source: mar-rs)

(Source: mirantur)

romangoddessvictoria:

nephilimgirlbooks:

yesterdayisadisgrace:

liar-liar-plants-for-higher:

chompyface:

do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head there in your hands and looking into their eyes and then violently jerk their head on a right angle and snap their neck

Well, that took an unexpected turn.

so did their neck

I’m dying

So are they